Her arms reached up towards the heavens, her breasts were bare, her back gently arched. A lotus flower replaced her head, and she was drinking from the divine energy of the universe. She stood so powerfully in her soft, feminine essence. She was receiving. She was love.
Receptivity. This was the tarot card I pulled during our opening circle of our 2-day retreat, and it couldn’t have been more perfect. The image of this woman reaching to the heavens jolted something inside of me. I knew this was what I had come for, and what I needed.
This was the first time I had been on a retreat where the intended focus was business, so I was pretty pumped to be sharing a couple of days with 3 other gorgeously divine woman with soul-centered businesses in the hinterlands of the sunshine coast, Queensland.
The house we chose was just perfect, it had country-style rustic charm with gorgeous pieces of art everywhere you looked. We couldn’t have asked for a better setting to get our creative juju flowing!
As we sat together in our sacred circle on that opening night, I declared my intentions out loud. This weekend I wanted to step away from my left brain, from my planning, analysing and logic mind. I wanted my right brain to take the steering wheel, I wanted to soften into my feminine, and let my soul get juicy and creative!
I declared “Clarity, Creativity & Connection”
Well, the old saying “be careful what you wish for” certainly came true for me this weekend.
After a powerful and beautiful opening ceremony, followed by a nourishing meal, I retreated to bed exhausted. The next morning I awoke to a gurgling and nauseous stomach and next thing I was head down in the toilet, vomiting up last nights dinner!!! NOOOO!!!!!! So there I was, at this amazing retreat I had been so excited about, not being able to do much except sleep in between spews. Great.
So I don’t believe in coincidences, and I also believe there is a lesson in everything that happens to us. 2013 has felt like such a struggle, I’ve been sick a lot, have been suffering chronic low back pain, and just feeling like I’m not quite in my flow. Of course I then start to think that I must be no good at my job if I can’t even look after myself, and I worry that people will think I’m a fraud (all big fat LIES by the way!). This has placed a HUGE amount of stress on me, and has almost left me paralyzed in my business, not being able to take steps forwards.
So I asked for connection, I asked for clarity and I got it. I got it by being forced to just BE. I had no internet, no phone reception, just me in my pain body, with 3 other gorgeous souls (who did an amazing job of looking after me!). I believe it was a lesson. I needed to stop chasing, to stop being so busy all of the time, to stop pushing, stop forcing. It was if the universe KNEW that I would try to do that on this retreat, and so it literally forced me to stop. Forced me to rest and bring absolute presence to the pain I was experiencing. Oh and pain it was, my whole body was aching, my joints, my back, my head, my stomach…
And from the pain, the stillness and the rest, emerged some powerful wisdom.
Clarity doesn’t come from the left brain. It’s not about setting goals, making plans, writing lists and organisational notes. Clarity comes when we connect with ourselves, when we sit in stillness and listen to the whispers from our soul, and truly listen to the pain in our body. From this inner connection comes creativity, where we let this wisdom bubble to the surface and express itself to the world. And from the creativity emerges the clarity.
I came to this retreat asking for connection, creativity and clarity…and I got it, on a whole new level. My back won’t heal by looking outside of myself. My business won’t grow by looking outside of myself. My life will prosper by turning inwards. I must connect. Connect to myself in stillness, in meditation. Be receptive and open to the universal wisdom and energy. Be in my sexy feminine goddess power, dance, sing, create, nurture, and love. Love myself. Be gentle. Nurture. And trust…trust that everything will be taken care of and that I am always supported.
So so sooooo much gratitude to the gorgeous soul-sisters who made this experience possible, who held the space for me during a challenging time, and supported me to open up to my truths. You are all so amazing xx